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Dating someone from a divorced family


In my opinion, it is very important to find out if the prospective shidduch has another role model for a healthy relationship. If they are close to a mentor, i. Omitting some possibilities from a list is a strategy that works most of the time.

But there are no other possibilities here.

I think one should not exclude children from divorced families automatically, but one would need to be far more circumspect and cautious. The research that was quoted by Lior only tells a part of the story. A far more important issue, which we are too quick to pass over, is to understand how those who manage to build successful functional homes even though coming from broken homes themselves manage to do so.

It seems that a motivated person from a Dating someone from a divorced family home may be better than an unmotivated person from a dysfunctional unbroken home! Ok, reb yid; that sounds good and all. It seems that it is better to go out with people who come from seemingly stable homes I.

Some days it seems like...

I have met children from divorced parents that have resolved to invest in their marriage not to end up where their parents did, and it worked. IMHO there are no rules to classify kids of divorced parents.

Yet statistics clearly demonstrate that children of divorced parents have a significantly greater marriage failure rate themselves, at least double the average divorce rate. Triple when both spouses come from broken homes. How is that any better than someone who has divorced parents? You can avoid both if both have a negative impact on their children.

Both my wife and I are remarried from divorces. Lior can quote statistics from today till tomorrow but the key to a good shidduch is marrying a well adjusted, happy person with a lev tov.

Divorced parents can teach their kids how to be happy. The reason why kids from divorced homes are more likely to divorce themselves is because they saw dysfunction and came to view it as normal.

That creates an unhappy person and a vicious cycle. They never got help, they kept seeing their parents fight etc. Look into the shidduch and look into the parents. My parents are divorced, and I have made it a point to be around people in good marriages to be able to observe first hand what can make a marriage work.

I have often found that girls from families where the parents are still married, can often not appreciate the hard work it takes to get to that point. Assuming their first memories of their parents are when they were around 3 years old, their parents were likely married for four years before they remember anything. In my situation, I saw the flaws in my parents marriage from a young age. I have always had to reconcile how two people who I love and care about so much can make each other miserable.

I did a better job deleting them same ones as they came up the last time we had this discussion. Yw mod, I would love to Dating someone from a divorced family you in person, Each time you post, you show such a kind side of you. My sincere apologies that my point came across harshly. I solely intended the point to make a general, and Dating someone from a divorced family a specific or individual, societal observation.

There are rules and there are exceptions to the rule. I was focusing on the rule. I do certainly realize there are exceptions to the rule, and apologize for not being clearer about that fact. I just think it is important to consider all aspects of a shidduch, and divorce familial history is one of them.

Extenuating factors relieving and mitigating some of the negatives of divorce is certainly important to look at.

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